


Right

by Blood and Weetabix (melchiorstiefel)



Series: Skam Coming Out Shorts [3]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Bipolar Even Bech Næsheim, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Even's manic episode (discussed and briefly summarised), F/M, Mikael is also there, Pansexual Even Bech Næsheim, Sometimes Sonja can be a good person, and the events with him are discussed, but there's no real resolution for them I'm afraid, but this is more about the catharsis for Even, canon-compliant mental health issues, canon-compliant suicide mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26855647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melchiorstiefel/pseuds/Blood%20and%20Weetabix
Summary: So many things happen in such a short span of time that even thinking back, Even's head is reeling from it.Or: Even has a manic episode, kisses his best friend, realises he's pansexual, and comes out to his girlfriend... But not necessarily in that order.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Sonja (SKAM), Mikael Øverlie Boukhal & Even Bech Næsheim
Series: Skam Coming Out Shorts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1932394
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Right

**Author's Note:**

> This one is basically just written in one sitting with no editing. I just wanted to explore a brief timeline of Even's backstory, as more of a warmup to a couple of other Even-centred fics I want to write.
> 
> This is weirdly dialogue-light for me... which is saying a lot, because I still managed to insert dialogue where it probably wasn't necessary :P
> 
> I SWEAR this series of shorts isn't ALL supposed to be Even... But we got canon coming out scenes for Isak with so many of the characters that the scales still tip in favour of Even for this series.
> 
> CONTENT WARNINGS: passing mentions of Even’s SA and everything else surrounding his canonical episode at Bakka. SORRY I forgot to put in the CW first time!

So many things happen in such a short span of time that even thinking back, Even’s head is reeling from it.

First, he and Sonja break up. And honestly, Even isn’t that upset about it. They both have their exams this year, and they both decide it’d be a good time to take some time alone and figure out who they are, separate from their relationship.

And that makes sense. They’ve been together for three years at this point, and while they were already well into their teens when it began, they weren’t exactly adults yet either.

The second thing that happens is sort of related to all that. Even realises he’s pansexual.

Not that he really has a huge problem with that. If you asked his friends and family to come up with one word to describe him, “laid-back” would probably be the first thing out of the lips of 90% of them. The other 10% would say “pretentious”.

But it’s still a little jarring. He and Sonja are broken up, and Even’s friends are not-so-gently hinting that maybe he should try out his other options.

“Don’t look now,” Mikael whispers as they’re walking down the hallway at school, “but Karina is definitely checking you out.”

Even sighs and chances a glance back. And yep, Karina is indeed definitely interested in him.

“I’m really not interested, Mikael.”

“I’m just saying, you have options.”

“Leave it, Mik.”

And so Mikael drops it for now, but Even knows full well that at the next party Mutta or another one of his friends is going to try to get him alone in a room with her.

It’s not that he’s not interested in girls anymore, or even that he’s not interested in Karina in particular. It’s just that at the moment, there’s only one person occupying his mind, and they’re decidedly not a girl.

Not even three weeks after he and Sonja broke up, he kissed Mikael, and everything after that is kind of a blur.

Which is to say: the third thing that happens is Even has his first manic episode.

With hindsight, Even knows for sure that he realised he was pan _before_ his episode began. There was a couple of weeks where he was dreaming about Mikael and catching passing glances at other guys and girls and Alex in the year below, who Even didn’t know that well, except that they came out as genderqueer the previous year.

But he was dealing with it fine. He didn’t tell anyone, but it wasn’t some tortured coming out story for him. He just didn’t feel like he needed to yet.

The restlessness and the going out in the middle of the night and the obsessive researching and note-taking about every random thought he had, that didn’t come until later.

But in the moment-to-moment of it all, everything seemed to come all at once. He was kissing Mikael, and he liked guys, and he and Sonja broke up, and he was learning Arabic, and he was reading the Qur’an… and then nothing.

* * *

He’s been out of the hospital for a month now, and he’s feeling pretty stable and his parents are finally backing off a little, when Sonja calls him on the phone.

She was definitely around during the recovery, and she came to the hospital a few times, but it was still very weird seeing her when they weren’t actually together.

“Halla,” Even picks up the phone.

“Hey. How are you doing.”

Even rolls his eyes. “I’m fine, Sonja. You don’t need to tiptoe around me.”

“I know.”

There’s an awkward silence on the line, and Even knows what’s coming next before Sonja even says it.

“Can I come over? I think we should talk.”

Even suppresses a sigh and runs a hand down his face.

“My parents are out today, so come over whenever you want. It’s not like I have any plans.”

He hears rustling on the other end of the phone line. “Good, because I’m already in the hallway.”

He lets her in and this is… nice. It feels familiar, just having Sonja back around him, and really, they do have good times together.

But he knows what’s coming. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it, he’s just not sure if things are going to be the same between them this time around.

Sonja is sitting on his sofa, toying with the hem of her skirt, and clearly working her way up to it.

“I think-,” she starts.

“Can I say something first?” Even cuts her off, and he sees her sag into the cushions, but she gives a vague wave as if to tell him to go ahead. “I really do like you, Sonja, but let’s not pretend you don’t know what happened.”

“I know what happened?” She asks.

“I kissed Mikael. We can’t move on from that if we don’t talk about it.”

“You were manic,” Sonja sighs. “You didn’t know what you were doing.”

And this is what Even was scared of. _Poor little bipolar Even. You can’t blame him. He didn’t know what he was doing._

Is it too much to ask people to let him take responsibility for his own actions?

Instead he says, “You’re right. I didn’t know what I was doing.” But then he steels himself.

“I didn’t know what I was doing _then_ , but kissing Mikael…”

He pauses, turning the words over in his mind.

“That wasn’t just some manic idea I got in my head. I like him. I liked him before, and then my brain got in the way and decided to risk it all.”

Sonja isn’t looking directly at him, and it hurts, but he needs to get through this.

“But I do love you, Sonja.” He smiles. “I do.”

“So, what does this mean?” She asks.

“I’m pansexual,” Even says, and with a jolt suddenly realises that _this is happening_ ; that this is the first time he’s actually said the word aloud.

That the word feels _right_.

“Okay.” Sonja says, and Even’s leg starts bouncing involuntarily.

“Is that all you have to say?” He asks, because he can’t help poking just a little.

“Thanks for telling me.” She looks up with a smile. “And I still love you.”

A grin grows across Even’s face. “I still love you, too.”

“Do you think we should get back together?”

Even reaches over to put an arm around her shoulder.

“Yeah, I’d like that. That’d be chill.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I had to mention a non-binary character. I know that you don't have to be pan (or even bi) to be attracted to non-binary people... I mean, I'm gay and non-binary myself... But I also feel like the "no matter their gender" part of pansexuality would be very important to Even particularly.
> 
> Anyway, sometimes, things with Sonja were chill. I know it's fashionable to make Sonja out to be this huge roadblock to Even's happiness, but Even and Sonja clearly WERE in love once. I don't hate Sonja, but I respect that some people may do. I certainly don't LOVE Sonja's canon actions, and she's not a character I'm THAT interested in writing. Like I said, this is about Even.
> 
> Either way... Sonja was important to Even, and it's important to ME that Even came out to her.


End file.
